The Inaugural NO FRUIT CUP Award **
Welcome to the NO FRUIT CUP Award, given henceforth by yours truly. It will be awarded to those individuals, groups, corporations, cults and reality shows that personify exactly what you need to get by in this world: chicanery, mis-direction, theatrics, denial, canoles, greed and not playing nice with others. Nay, nay, in this world, you get points for authenticity and compassion, not hubris and entitlement. You bring something to the table, you get something. No play nice, no fruit cup! (dinner is served promptly at eight, Nurse Diesel fans) I hope to find and bring to light the ongoing escapades of these social jesters and financial miscreants in the field of business, entertainment, sports, food, everywhere!
This week’s award goes to our friends at Embassy Suites, who in a recent commercial proclaimed they had a “Complimentary Made-to-Order Breakfast.” Really?!?!? Holy Emmenthaler, Batman! "Those other “crappy” hotels, they’ve been over charging us for years for made-to-order food. I coulda ordered it they way they make, and save lots of cash!!!” Come on, isn’t the whole concept of a restaurant is, “we will give you choices, then tell us how you like it!
Look, I’m not the first scribe to wail about truth in advertising, but really, ES, this is the best R&D can come up with to get our business and vacation dollars, “we’ll cook the food they way you like it?!?! Please no whining about how they mean it’s not a buffet. If you want a review, go to Zagat’s! You’d get my attention if an advert said “Hey, We Like Making Breakfast. Are You Hungry?” Wow. Honest. Primal. I bet you then the next time you saw the words Embassy Suites you’ll think “they make a great breakfast”. You may even tell someone about it.
We don’t mind being sold, but we don’t like being fooled. Telling
us “made-to-order” is free is like saying “enjoy our free
** ed. note - The spirit of the NO FRUIT CUP AWARD is truth swaddled in the blanket of humor. It is by laughing at ourselves that we only can truly affect everlasting changes in behavior. I am by no means am attempting to attack anyone or group personally. Unless they’re really, really off the charts stupid or lying. Then, they’re meat