So far in 2008, I’ve lost 357 lbs, just by eating better, exercising more AND more importantly buying all the stuff television tells me to buy. I’ve had my Bow flexed, my abs crunched, my thighs mastered, my hair replaced, my eyes lasered and take my little blue pill so I can take care of business. I eat like Valerie Betinelli and smell like Elizabeth Taylor. The only person that feels better than me is Chuck Norris, because he is, Chuck Norris.
Now, if you also realize my tongue has permanent residence in my cheek, you’ll know that I’m just overwhelmed by the media’s insistence, that now’s the time to fix that crappy life of ours. Why, you may ask, Mr. & Ms. Consumer, is now the time? Because we (you, not me) made your New Year’s Resolutions! Who ever came up with that concept, went to the head of their marketing class. It’s brilliant. Non-sectarian guilt and possible absolution. It’s like penance for atheists! Make a list, check it twice (works for Santa) then take care of all the mistakes, wrong doings, illegal, immoral or fattening things you did the year before, and bingo, in 30 days, you can look like Mrs.Don Shula?!?!?!! Sound familiar? Your favorite religion probably has a holiday for that same sort of shenanigans, they just give it a fancier name.
So, instead of making a list of resolutions and wasting a mess o’ money on stuff I won’t be using by the end of February, I’m going to spend my time focusing on helping others, like you, get through your day more easily. No, I’m not sending you your money-back product guarantees So, when you’re done working out with the CALFMASTER 3000 or trying a 30 day supply ASSAWAY diet pills (it’s an ancient Aztec totally organic and all-natural* formula), here’s a trio of fun websites, that just may help you laugh your way to stress relief and give you great recipes when you do indulge! Life's too short to just do what they tell us!
(*totally organic and all-natural means plan on being in the john for the better part of Thursday)
1 -Bake Space – a place of cookers and cakes
They call themselves “the social-networking site for people passionate about food. I call it tasty-licious! Hey, c’mon, how many calories can there be a virtual chocolate cupcake?
2- Mad as Hell Club – a place to rant and rave
“We publish essays, art, cartoons, and photographs
presenting ideas we feel deeply about, along with some possible solutions to
the problems that confront us.
3 - Mental Floss – a place to laugh and think and laugh some
“Where knowledge junkies get their fix”
Still stressed out. Go to www.tbs.com and click on a FAMILY GUY episode. Usually enough to make me laugh AND put down the Twinkie! And speaking of Twinkies….ah, we’ll save that for next month. Well, kats and kittens, have a great rest of the month, and remember, to all our friends in Tampa, Dallas
and Green Bay, “HOW ‘BOUT DEM BIG BLUE BOYS!!!! www.giants.com .
Wel, that's all she Kyle Rote. (ugh -go look it up)
love and puns,
actor/author/lifelong GIANTS fan